Quench my thirst...

{found this poem I wrote last year, July 21, 2014, and I thought I'd share}

Maybe this is God's plan for my life, and I have been chosen to never wed.
Maybe there is supposed to be no one ever laying beside me in my bed.
Now that doesn't necessarily make me lonely because I love my "Me" time and personal space.
However, sometimes I have cravings...not even BOB can erase.

No, it's not only the physical touch that my body tends to yearn.
I want to grow with someone on a plethora of levels...spiritually being #1.
Let's start a business together; let's even build a house.
Let's travel the world together -- You. As. My. Spouse.

The only dilemma is, "you" are a figment of my imagination.
Lord, what have I done to deserve such condemnation.
"You" are an illusion...a fantasy...a mirage on a hot desert day.
So tempted to quench my thirst, but I'll die of dehydration before I ever let you fade away...

Ok....I am not the best at updating my blog :/

Sooooooooo on December 9, 2014 I successfully passed my PhD Proposal and officially became a PhD candidate!!! My thesis is titled "Developing an Engagement and Social Interaction Model for a Robotic Educational Agent," and I will be completing my PhD journey this Fall semester. #PraiseHim #WontHeDoIt ....this is bitter-sweet because completing my program this Fall semester also means that I will be neglecting you all yet again :( I am in high hopes that you all understand that sacrifices need to be made to obtain greatness :)

Unfortunately, so much happened since my last post in September that I will be unable to brief you on everything. I will attempt to hit the highlights. Following my proposal, my baby Blossom and I sent out Christmas cards to family and close friends (hopefully if you're reading this, you received one as well, lol). This was my first year sending out cards, but I would like to keep this up moving forward for the years to come. It's a wonderful feeling to wish those I love many blessings over the holiday season.

In early March I was FINALLY able to attend a speech given by President Obama (amazing speaker btw)...

...and then stumbled across Tyler Perry while waiting for the POTUS to make his appearance :)

By the end of March I submitted a paper to the IEEE International Conference on Systems, Man and Cybernetics (SMC), and last month I was notified that the paper was accepted with great reviews! The conference will be held in Hong Kong, China in early October, and I'm excited that I'll be able to add another stamp to my passport :) The paper is titled, "Evaluating the Effect of Robot Feedback on Motor Skill Performance in Therapy Games," and we show that a combination of verbal and nonverbal cues provided from a robotic playmate yields the best performance from individuals in physical therapy. I am currently conducting a follow-up study...and I will give more details upon completion.

Last week I celebrated another birthday...it seems like they come so fast now. I decided to go home and celebrate it with my family over Father's Day weekend. As you can see below, going home always brings out the inner child in me :)

Well I think that's all I have for now. I'm going to finish up some miscellaneous things and call it a night. Goodnight folks....and until next time...TOODLES!!

God Bless,

Future Dr. Brown, FDB

Much Needed Update

So I just skimmed my past few posts and I haven't updated you on quite a few things. Namely, my Pi Mile (5K) results from April (I know shameful it's been so long), an academic conference I attended last month, and my very first journal publication!!!

For starters, I finished my Pi Mile at my fastest time ever recorded -- 28:03!!! Woo-hoo!!! Look at me go!!! lol. And I'm proud to say that I have been keeping up with the cardio/running ever since. I am currently running approx. 20 miles a week -- 4 miles every morning before I go to campus Mon-Fri :)

Next, my paper was accepted into the IEEE International Symposium on Robot and Human Interactive Communication (RO-MAN) in Edinburgh, Scotland, UK!!! I was able to present my research in a poster session, as well as tour the city in my free time :) My work was well received by the community, and I was able to meet/network with some really cool people. 

Last but not least, I also secured an unexpected journal publication this summer!!! So after attending the ASEE conference in June, they extended an offer to also publish a longer version of my paper to their journal!!! It's scheduled to publish later this year (Oct-Dec). I'm so grateful.

I'm currently in the process of writing my Ph.D. proposal, so the next update I give will most likely be after the successful oral presentation this semester when I'll be an official Ph.D. Candidate!!

Alright, back to work I go...

God Bless,

FDB

Why I'm single...

Part of me is afraid of commitment. Every time I turn around, couples are breaking up/husband and wife are getting divorced, and then there are those miserable people trying to "weather the storm" in shitty relationships because they want it to work out…when in reality they need to let go and move on (I know, I know, easier said than done). I honestly don't want to fall into any of these categories, so the screening process is extremely intense when these men "claim" that they have found their other half in me. 

I find that the men who have really pursued me thus far are inadequate. At first, I thought that was bourgeois/shallow to say, but it's just honest. I give these men honest chances and they always drop the ball. As Maya Angelou said, "When someone shows you who they are believe them; the first time." So with that said, I don't waste time with the elimination process. 

And on the other hand, the men that possess the qualities that I would love in a husband seem to never pursue me. Now, I haven't quite figured out why this happens, but I'm definitely going through some self-evaluation and reflection on this matter. However, in any case, I reciprocate the amount of energy put into me. Even if I have fantasized walking down the aisle with this guy, I quickly come back to reality and keep it moving when he's not pursuing me with all of his energy. Simply put, "Men go hard for what they truly want – if he’s not going hard for you, you’re not what he truly wants." Amen, amen. And I know that what God has for me is for me, so I don’t get caught up in the fantasy. Clearly "he" was not for me.

Now, the question of the year…what exactly am I looking for in a husband. I haven't actually attempted to list this in years, but here goes nothing.

1. Must possess ambition & goals: complacency is nonexistent in his mind; wants to build a kingdom WITH me – be business partners and start our own company, etc.
2. "Head over heels" for me & my biggest supporter: he must be a tad more into me than I am into him. I need to feel secure in the idea of US. This may be a selfish request, but it is what I want *shrugs*. In his mind, there’s nothing more important than making sure I am happy and in a good place (and with that said, I will not the bitchy, needy, bossy, selfish wife that is always unhappy about something)
3. No kids:  I would love to share the feeling of starting our "first" family together ☺
4. A strong relationship with Christ: I am still learning and would love to have a partner that supports and aids my growth/relationship with Christ. "No woman wants to be in submission to a man that isn’t in submission to God." Right now in life I am a very self-sufficient/independent, “strong black woman.” However, I would love to submit to the "right," God-fearing man one day. Until then, I’ll keep on keeping on and handling my business.
5. Must be independent/self-sufficient: a job, car, place, no roommates…all are necessities. I don’t want a man that’s going through "the struggle" and trying to make it at this point in his life (a personal preference). And yes, I understand that I may have to be open to older men (30ish), which also means they are more likely to have kids…but I know that what God has for me, is for me. I have all the faith that he will find me in God’s perfect timing ☺ 
6. Must strive to be healthy/workout: I need someone who will motivate me to keep eating healthy/working out by doing the same! When I look back in my past, I seem to always look my worst (be the most unhealthy) when I'm in relationships smh – that's another thing that scares me about commitment. We must inspire one another to be the best we can be, and that applies to all aspects of life, not only our health. 

It has taken me quite a while to develop this list, but I’m glad I now know what I want and grateful that I didn't end up in an unsuccessful marriage or have kid(s) out of wedlock. I think it is important to have this foundation before making the big jump into marriage. It may have taken me a little longer to develop this mindset, but better late than never right ;-) 

Alright, back to work I go. Just had to put that out there so I can focus on my work. If I think of anything else, I will make edits. In the meantime, I will let go and let God! 

FDB

"No woman wants to be in submission to a man who isn't in submission to God!"

My Birthday Weekend Festivities!!!

**If you are interested in attending dinner on Friday and/or brunch on Sunday, please RSVP via text by Monday, June 16th for the reservations. (Most likely if you don't have my number, you probably shouldn't be bringing in my birthday with me anyway.)

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Friday, June 20th

7:30 PM

Dinner at TWO Urban Licks

10:30 PM

Cafe Circa

Saturday, June 21st

1:00 PM

Pool Party

(details sent via email)

Sunday, June 22nd

12 Noon

Brunch at Poor Calvin's

(bottomless everything!!!)

4:00 PM

Movie in Atlanta Station

"Think Like a Man Too"

Get Tickets Here

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**If you are interested in attending dinner on Friday and/or brunch on Sunday, please RSVP via text by Monday, June 16th for the reservations. (Most likely if you don't have my number, you probably shouldn't be bringing in my birthday with me anyway.)

Online Dating

Wellllllll after perusing a few of the online dating websites, it is time for me to give an overall review of this idea. I have/had accounts with Plenty of Fish, Christian Mingle, Black People Meet, Black Celibacy, and Tinder. Some sites/apps are more developed than others, and typically the amount of time put into the user interface is indirectly/inversely related to how ratchet the site has the potential to be (i.e more developed, less ratchet OR less developed, more ratchet). Now for those who are new to online dating, I will list a few things to be weary of in the process.

Traditionally, when you meet people naturally in person, you are able to see their physical appearance, mannerisms, and ability hold an intellectual conversation....all at once. The main thing that you must pay close attention to is what the other person is NOT saying. This is how you learn most about a person...I think.

However, when you meet people online, you are only able to see what he or she wants you to see. So not only must you pay close attention to what they aren't saying, but also to what they are NOT showing you in their images/profiles. Ideally you want to do this prior to wasting your time and meeting someone in person. A quick and painless way to possibly see this is through a quick Skype call, etc. For instance, I caught a guy off guard and asked him if he wanted to Skype. Of course he agreed, then once on cam, I asked who I heard in the background, and it was his mother...because he still lived at home with his parents -__- Another guy I talked to on and off for a while had very handsome pics and was goal oriented. I finally agreed to meet him in person one day (of course in a public place), and he's missing a front tooth! I went back to look at his pics and realized he's never smiling in any of his pics! Prime example of paying attention to what they aren't showing you. And no I'm not shallow, but all I'm saying is if his life was really together like he said it was (career, etc.), I'm more than sure dental insurance would cover that -__- After that, I just couldn't take him serious. He wanted to grab a bite to eat, and I'm thinking "how when you don't have front teeth snagatooth."

Dating in general is very, very time consuming and has the potential to waste my time more times than not. For those who like the online dating, kudos to you, but it's definitely not my cup of tea. I would love to meet someone in action, doing something they love to do candidly. There's no pressure in these situations, whereas online everyone is putting up a front to be the ideal guy/gal.

Oh and lastly I would like to add that even the Christian Mingle type sites have pervs as well...which kind of makes them worse than the Plenty of Fish type sites. You wouldn't expect it at all from Christian Mingle, but it's very prevalent.

Oh and one more thing, height can be deceiving in pictures, and even on Skype. If you're big on tall/short guys/girls, be aware of this.

Well it's past my bedtime. I hope snagatooth or momma's boy doesn't read my blogs :/

Until next time, toodles :-*

Vonda B.