Much Needed Update

So I just skimmed my past few posts and I haven't updated you on quite a few things. Namely, my Pi Mile (5K) results from April (I know shameful it's been so long), an academic conference I attended last month, and my very first journal publication!!!

For starters, I finished my Pi Mile at my fastest time ever recorded -- 28:03!!! Woo-hoo!!! Look at me go!!! lol. And I'm proud to say that I have been keeping up with the cardio/running ever since. I am currently running approx. 20 miles a week -- 4 miles every morning before I go to campus Mon-Fri :)

Next, my paper was accepted into the IEEE International Symposium on Robot and Human Interactive Communication (RO-MAN) in Edinburgh, Scotland, UK!!! I was able to present my research in a poster session, as well as tour the city in my free time :) My work was well received by the community, and I was able to meet/network with some really cool people. 

Last but not least, I also secured an unexpected journal publication this summer!!! So after attending the ASEE conference in June, they extended an offer to also publish a longer version of my paper to their journal!!! It's scheduled to publish later this year (Oct-Dec). I'm so grateful.

I'm currently in the process of writing my Ph.D. proposal, so the next update I give will most likely be after the successful oral presentation this semester when I'll be an official Ph.D. Candidate!!

Alright, back to work I go...

God Bless,

FDB

Why I'm single...

Part of me is afraid of commitment. Every time I turn around, couples are breaking up/husband and wife are getting divorced, and then there are those miserable people trying to "weather the storm" in shitty relationships because they want it to work out…when in reality they need to let go and move on (I know, I know, easier said than done). I honestly don't want to fall into any of these categories, so the screening process is extremely intense when these men "claim" that they have found their other half in me. 

I find that the men who have really pursued me thus far are inadequate. At first, I thought that was bourgeois/shallow to say, but it's just honest. I give these men honest chances and they always drop the ball. As Maya Angelou said, "When someone shows you who they are believe them; the first time." So with that said, I don't waste time with the elimination process. 

And on the other hand, the men that possess the qualities that I would love in a husband seem to never pursue me. Now, I haven't quite figured out why this happens, but I'm definitely going through some self-evaluation and reflection on this matter. However, in any case, I reciprocate the amount of energy put into me. Even if I have fantasized walking down the aisle with this guy, I quickly come back to reality and keep it moving when he's not pursuing me with all of his energy. Simply put, "Men go hard for what they truly want – if he’s not going hard for you, you’re not what he truly wants." Amen, amen. And I know that what God has for me is for me, so I don’t get caught up in the fantasy. Clearly "he" was not for me.

Now, the question of the year…what exactly am I looking for in a husband. I haven't actually attempted to list this in years, but here goes nothing.

1. Must possess ambition & goals: complacency is nonexistent in his mind; wants to build a kingdom WITH me – be business partners and start our own company, etc.
2. "Head over heels" for me & my biggest supporter: he must be a tad more into me than I am into him. I need to feel secure in the idea of US. This may be a selfish request, but it is what I want *shrugs*. In his mind, there’s nothing more important than making sure I am happy and in a good place (and with that said, I will not the bitchy, needy, bossy, selfish wife that is always unhappy about something)
3. No kids:  I would love to share the feeling of starting our "first" family together ☺
4. A strong relationship with Christ: I am still learning and would love to have a partner that supports and aids my growth/relationship with Christ. "No woman wants to be in submission to a man that isn’t in submission to God." Right now in life I am a very self-sufficient/independent, “strong black woman.” However, I would love to submit to the "right," God-fearing man one day. Until then, I’ll keep on keeping on and handling my business.
5. Must be independent/self-sufficient: a job, car, place, no roommates…all are necessities. I don’t want a man that’s going through "the struggle" and trying to make it at this point in his life (a personal preference). And yes, I understand that I may have to be open to older men (30ish), which also means they are more likely to have kids…but I know that what God has for me, is for me. I have all the faith that he will find me in God’s perfect timing ☺ 
6. Must strive to be healthy/workout: I need someone who will motivate me to keep eating healthy/working out by doing the same! When I look back in my past, I seem to always look my worst (be the most unhealthy) when I'm in relationships smh – that's another thing that scares me about commitment. We must inspire one another to be the best we can be, and that applies to all aspects of life, not only our health. 

It has taken me quite a while to develop this list, but I’m glad I now know what I want and grateful that I didn't end up in an unsuccessful marriage or have kid(s) out of wedlock. I think it is important to have this foundation before making the big jump into marriage. It may have taken me a little longer to develop this mindset, but better late than never right ;-) 

Alright, back to work I go. Just had to put that out there so I can focus on my work. If I think of anything else, I will make edits. In the meantime, I will let go and let God! 

FDB

"No woman wants to be in submission to a man who isn't in submission to God!"

My Birthday Weekend Festivities!!!

**If you are interested in attending dinner on Friday and/or brunch on Sunday, please RSVP via text by Monday, June 16th for the reservations. (Most likely if you don't have my number, you probably shouldn't be bringing in my birthday with me anyway.)

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Friday, June 20th

7:30 PM

Dinner at TWO Urban Licks

10:30 PM

Cafe Circa

Saturday, June 21st

1:00 PM

Pool Party

(details sent via email)

Sunday, June 22nd

12 Noon

Brunch at Poor Calvin's

(bottomless everything!!!)

4:00 PM

Movie in Atlanta Station

"Think Like a Man Too"

Get Tickets Here

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**If you are interested in attending dinner on Friday and/or brunch on Sunday, please RSVP via text by Monday, June 16th for the reservations. (Most likely if you don't have my number, you probably shouldn't be bringing in my birthday with me anyway.)

Online Dating

Wellllllll after perusing a few of the online dating websites, it is time for me to give an overall review of this idea. I have/had accounts with Plenty of Fish, Christian Mingle, Black People Meet, Black Celibacy, and Tinder. Some sites/apps are more developed than others, and typically the amount of time put into the user interface is indirectly/inversely related to how ratchet the site has the potential to be (i.e more developed, less ratchet OR less developed, more ratchet). Now for those who are new to online dating, I will list a few things to be weary of in the process.

Traditionally, when you meet people naturally in person, you are able to see their physical appearance, mannerisms, and ability hold an intellectual conversation....all at once. The main thing that you must pay close attention to is what the other person is NOT saying. This is how you learn most about a person...I think.

However, when you meet people online, you are only able to see what he or she wants you to see. So not only must you pay close attention to what they aren't saying, but also to what they are NOT showing you in their images/profiles. Ideally you want to do this prior to wasting your time and meeting someone in person. A quick and painless way to possibly see this is through a quick Skype call, etc. For instance, I caught a guy off guard and asked him if he wanted to Skype. Of course he agreed, then once on cam, I asked who I heard in the background, and it was his mother...because he still lived at home with his parents -__- Another guy I talked to on and off for a while had very handsome pics and was goal oriented. I finally agreed to meet him in person one day (of course in a public place), and he's missing a front tooth! I went back to look at his pics and realized he's never smiling in any of his pics! Prime example of paying attention to what they aren't showing you. And no I'm not shallow, but all I'm saying is if his life was really together like he said it was (career, etc.), I'm more than sure dental insurance would cover that -__- After that, I just couldn't take him serious. He wanted to grab a bite to eat, and I'm thinking "how when you don't have front teeth snagatooth."

Dating in general is very, very time consuming and has the potential to waste my time more times than not. For those who like the online dating, kudos to you, but it's definitely not my cup of tea. I would love to meet someone in action, doing something they love to do candidly. There's no pressure in these situations, whereas online everyone is putting up a front to be the ideal guy/gal.

Oh and lastly I would like to add that even the Christian Mingle type sites have pervs as well...which kind of makes them worse than the Plenty of Fish type sites. You wouldn't expect it at all from Christian Mingle, but it's very prevalent.

Oh and one more thing, height can be deceiving in pictures, and even on Skype. If you're big on tall/short guys/girls, be aware of this.

Well it's past my bedtime. I hope snagatooth or momma's boy doesn't read my blogs :/

Until next time, toodles :-*

Vonda B.

Forward Movement: #ProjectPhD

Over these past few weeks, I've noticed that's hard for me to focus on school when my life is in shambles...well maybe I'm over-exaggerating a little. My home has to be clean (laundry done, dishes washed, bed made, trash dumped), groceries have to be in my fridge, car has to be washed and clean, I have to be in shape, and my finances must be taken care of...to name a few :) Only then am I able to sit down and focus on research, smh, but I'm currently there now. I had lunch today with one of my mentors, and it was so refreshing and motivating! I was able to listen to his PhD journey, how he did it, things he would've done differently, words of encouragement, the risks he took, the risks he didn't take....the list goes on and on. He honestly has stories for days, but he made it man...so there's hope! I left lunch with so much drive and motivation to keep pushing. Hopefully this fire lit under my a$$ will burn for a while -- I feel like I become complacent at times, and that's not good. But as I said in my last post, I see the light at the end of the tunnel, and even moreso after today.

Well it's getting late; I just finished working out in my gym not too long ago, but the bed is calling my name. Until next time...toodles.

Vonda B.

Loving Life :)

So many thing seem to falling in place in my life, and I know that I have no one other than the Lord himself to thank :) I see the light at the end of the tunnel with my research and graduation....don't get me wrong, it's still a long tunnel, lol, but I know what I need to do to reach the end goal. I have a number of conference publications under my belt, now it's time to tackle a few journal publications...which are a little more difficult to attain, but I'm ready to put forth the work!!! Plus, I can do all things through Christ ;-)

Summer is near, which also means my birthday is almost here! I guess after 25 it's no need to broadcast the actual age unless it's monumental...like 50 or 100 -__- I guess I'm officially old man, but I prefer seasoned ;-) I envision myself laying by a beach for my birthday....well who am I kidding...probably a pool, lol, but I've been hitting the gym hard here lately so I will be swimsuit ready. I ran in the R.O.C. 5K Race this past weekend, and it was sooooo much fun! Lots of water slides, tarzan swings, climbing walls, and jumping balls. AND we completed the race in style in our tutus! Next week is the GT pi mile, which is a more competitive 5K race -- my time has definitely gotten better, so I'm ready for it!

Well it's Robotics Week here at Tech, so it's time to demo my robot to the future engineers :) Until next time...TOODLES!

Vonda B.

July

[Verse 1: Drake]

This verse start’s as my sniper hits they mark

And your guards fall down from a rifle to the heart

Like, clap, clap, let em fall slow

I know you had your fears, you can let 'em all go

And most women are motivated so I act accordingly

But this is so refreshing that it means a little more to me

Dedicating time when I really can’t afford to be

I provide protection if you open up the door for me

Couple stares

Couple text

Couple dates

Couple I think that we’re readys

Couple I think that we should we waits

Are we actin' like a couple

I’m just tryin' to get it straight

Cause I’m over here convinced that it’s too early for mistakes

[Bridge: Jhene Aiko]

Oh, you had to change up the game

Oh, the weather is not the same

Now there’s only cloudy days

Can’t stand the rain in July

Oh July, there were fireworks explodin'

Now it’s getting colder

Leaves are turning color

Why, it’s just not our season

The one and only reason

Baby oh, baby oh

Our summer turned into fall

[Verse 2: Drake]

Damn, tell me where did all the magic go

I followed the rules and told you everything you had to know

Had you over every night

Every night was passionate

Plus, you met my mother even if it was an accident

I’m confused tell me where we go wrong

I was sure that I would be with you for so long

I was planning on this on being something worth mentioning

Energy invested in someone I saw potential in

Who killed chivalry

They need to get they sentencin'

Meanwhile we arguing and I can’t get a sentence in

And just as I predicted here we go again

They always say the hottest love has the coldest end

[Bridge]

[Jhene Aiko]

See it's funny cause I never thought this would end

But then the season changed

[Drake]

You were my, you were my, you were my love

Shoulda made, shoulda made you my world

Shoula done everything to make you happy, baby

Oh yeah

[Jhene Aiko]

Can’t wait for, can’t wait for, can’t wait for springtime

And I will turn into a butterfly

I will spread my wings and fly

And I’m too fly for this shit

Oha wooh

I am Japanese if you please

Greetings ladies and gents!

I'm currently sitting in Barnes and Noble preparing to write a paper (as usual), but I have a lot on my mind, so I decided to take a break and let it all out. Because it was only a couple weeks since my last post, I have a brief update. My paper submission to the ASEE Annual Conference titled "A Real-Time Model to Assess Student Engagement during Interaction with Intelligent Educational Agents" was accepted!! Woo-hoo!!! I guess that means I'll be in Indianapolis, IN come mid-June :) This past weekend I went to Princeton and presented my research at the IEEE Integrated STEM Education Conference (ISEC). Our paper was titled "The Positive Effects of Verbal Encouragement in Mathematics Education Using a Social Robot," and we won the Best Paper Award!! Whoo-hoo!! I didn't even know our paper was nominated until a couple days before the conference while perusing the agenda, but all praise goes to God! I couldn't have done it without him :) I know I don't live my life exactly as I should, but he keeps blessing me over and over again.

In other news, I recently found out that I will not be going to the NSBE convention in Nashville at the end of the month :( Bittersweet....I haven't seen my NSBE fam in years, but on the bright side, I won't be missing my Friday class again lol. I'll take that...plus I've already done my traveling for the month of March. 

I'm happy to say that my life has been going well, and I have no complaints. There's always a bright side to everything. My journal submission was REJECTED lol, but I received a lot a good feedback from the reviewers. I will make the needed adjustments, and then resubmit it to another journal in the next couple of months :) 

I have a couple of 5K races coming up next month: a few of us will be doing the ROC Race ATL on April 5th, and the GT Pi Mile on April 12th. Here lately, I've been running 3 miles about 3 days a week, but I would like to shave some minutes off my time -- I'm currently running it in approx. 32min, but I need that time to be below 30 minutes (preferably 28 minutes). The end goal would be to finally compete in a triathlon in June, but I need to get this swimming together if that's ever going to come to surface. 

Alright, well I've successfully completed no work this morning. I'll chime back in sooner or later.

Until next time...toodles!!

Vonda B.

Life Update

When I go months without posting, I feel overwhelmed because so much has happened. Let's see...since November I lost weight, went home for the holidays twice (made a pitstop in Charlotte), had a Fab5! sleepover, Blossom turned 2, went back home for a speeding ticket, gained weight lol, and submitted to 3 conferences and a journal. I've learned over the past few years that grad school is very stressful (nothing new), but I think I've found a great solution to the pressure! I need at least one vacation a month, and since December I've done a great job living up to this. I spent new year's in DC, went to the Dominican Republic in January, and I'm headed to CIAA in Charlotte this weekend. Ironically for all of these trips I have been with the same person...my LS/Front Door/best friend and so much more...Shan R. We've truly been #LIVIN', and she's done a great job making sure I keep a balance between school and play {and is also the reason why I'm broke lol...j/k}. Next month I'll be going to Princeton, NJ and Nashville, TN for academic related conferences; however, I'll be sure to break away and enjoy the city when I'm away.

Fab5!

Baby Maxine and her Mommy/my sissy :)

DC for New Year's

Blossom turns 2 :)

Miami to DR

And the evolution of me :) 

I'll do better next time - I promise :)

Vonda B.