9 Month Loc Update

This is actually what my hair looked like after I got it done 2 days later...yes I know...my loctician is a miracle worker!

Summer '12 Update

Hello all!!!!

I apologize for neglecting you all :( It has been a long 1.5 months, and so much has changed since the last time we spoke. For starters, I moved into a bigger place for Blossom and me; it's a 2BR 2Bath condo located approx. 1 mile from school and a 1/2 mile from the MARTA (train) station. ***PERFECT LOCATION*** If anyone is interested in getting me any house warming gifts, I will be accepting a treadmill, a futon, and a kitchen table w/chairs please and thanks :D I also invested in a bike to travel to and from school, as well as other places nearby. Her name is Denise...hopefully Dennis (my Altima) doesn't get too jealous. I won't be getting any speeding tickets while riding her!!!

Let's see....what else....oh so my summer classes just ended (which I have been slaving over for the past 2 months), and miraculously I made it!! I passed both my classes with an A and a B. I definitely can't complain with a semester GPA of 3.5 at GT. Hard work does pay off! However, I only have one more week until the Fall semester begins, but I'm ready because I'll be graduating in December with my Master's in Electrical and Computer Engineering!! Whoop whoop!!

This past weekend I was in Pittsburgh at Carnegie Mellon for a "LearnLab" workshop on new innovative learning technologies. Goooooood stuffff!!! I was able to present my research and receive a lot of feedback on things I should look into to better my system. I was also able to see what other researchers were doing in a variety of disciplines such as educational and cognitive psychology, computer science, learning sciences and policy, mathematics, and computer information systems. There was a wealth of information gained and shared from everyone here. Yay!! In my free time, I was able to venture out to U. Pitt.

Early July, I went home because my Aunt Smack passed after a long battle against brain cancer. Although it was good to see all of my family, it sucked that it was for a funeral :( I had the opportunity to speak at her wake and put a smile on everyone's face while sharing a memory that her and I kept. I only hope that I was able to put a smile on her face as well in heaven. You will be missed. RIP Aunt Smack.

Lastly, on June 23rd I turned 24 yrs old!! My sister, LS, and her sister were able to drive down from VA and make sure my BeeDay was nothing less than memorable. I had a cookout in Piedmont Park, and I was able to spend quality time with people who are dear to my heart <3 <3 <3 I will spare everyone the details ;-) 

Well that's all I have for now! Until next time...toodles!!

With love,

Vonda B.

3 Month Loc Update

(Excuse my cold, I was a little stopped up)

Hair Update - Week 10

Hard work is paying off!!!

So I've been hitting the gym hard since January, and I'm beginning to see results!!!! At this rate, I'm well on my way to having my 6-pack by my birthday!!! My new bikini is calling my name!!!!

So for those who are curious as to how I managed to do this, I'll explain:

I keep my body in shock with a variety of activities.
I workout with my personal trainer twice a week.
I do Insanity workouts twice a week.
I run 1 mile everyday.
And of course I changed my eating habits for the better:)

BLOSSOM

So now for some updates!!! I'm just realizing that I forgot formally introduce you all to my new puppy Blossom Reese Brown!!! My LS Shannon and I have joint ownership of her :) She is a sooo cute. She is a pit bull-bull dog mix. Below is her at 2 and a half months old.

Now she is 4 months old....

And here is her making a new friend Sasha at Piedmont Park...

I say all of this to reiterate how much I LOVE my dog. However, she did the most trifling thing today when I came home to walk her on my lunch break.

I do not understand how I can love her so much, and then she turn around and do this to me. I take her to the park, I introduce her to more doggie friends, I have her enrolled in doggie classes, and this is how she repays me!?!?! My entire apartment smelt like poo! I couldn't stop gagging and my lunch almost came up. AND I had an appointment in less than an hour so I had to clean this entire mess up with haste. God is a funny being though. I asked him to take my mind off of my previous post, and then I went home to this. He definitely cleared my mind and directed my focus in a new direction, and I thank you for that!

Anyways, I need to get this homework submitted by 5pm so ttyl.

With Love,

Vonda B.

Random thoughts of love lost...

I’m on a journey to seek stability. I have learned to operate so well with another person, that I feel as if I have to downgrade to stand alone. I know that stability is indeed possible for one person, but that does not mean that it is optimum.

They say it’s better to have loved than to not have loved at all. I’m not quite convinced that this is true. All the pain associated when love comes to an end is unbearable for me. I truly hate this feeling with all my heart. This is why I have only fallen in love twice in my entire life. The first time ended my freshman year of undergrad, and I swore up and down that I would never put myself through that pain again because it deterred me too far away from what was important – my education. I couldn’t focus in class, I was emotionally unstable, I was weak, and most importantly I was not in control. That was the worst feeling ever…like how is it possible to not be in control of your own body??? So for 4 years I was able to stay away from this thing one calls love, but somehow I managed to fall in it again here recently. I convinced myself that it was okay since I had graduated with my B.S. and had more time to balance. It goes without saying that this love has been lost and I am almost in the same place that I was 5 years ago…but it hurts so much worse L

I like being in control of my body. I am the type of person that can turn my feelings on and off like a switch. I can detach or cut someone out of my life with ease. I am a pro at not becoming emotionally attached and guarding my heart. And I do this because I do not have time for the hurt and the pain and the sleepless nights and the unproductive days and the major setback that has been thrown into my life. One might say that the love that developed throughout the relationship outweighs the hurt and pain at the end, but I am not convinced. This might be true, but the hurt is the last thing that I have to remember, which seems, at that moment, to supersede all else.

I was at the park on Saturday with friends and it was brought to my attention that cancers tend to be very emotional people. When I heard this, I was the first to say that was absurd because I am a cancer and I can desensitize from any and every situation. But the more and more I thought about this, I realized that he might have been right. Maybe I am so sensitive and so emotional that I felt as if I had no choice but to desensitize myself and put up a guard and steer away from love. Maybe this is exactly why I question whether or not it’s better to have loved than to not loved at all. Because when I read, “to not have loved at all,” it means to not have hurt and to not have been unstable and not have been dysfunctional. And when I put that on a scale in comparison to love, "no hurt" tends to win, at least for now. It won’t be for a while until I’m able to sit down and reflect to see that the relationship pushed me further into my career, helped to develop my research thesis topic for my soon to be doctorate, encouraged me to strive for the best and not settle for anything less, supported me on every level when nobody else would, showed me how to love deeply/passionately, and help make me into the intelligent, well-rounded, successful, humble being that I am today. One day I will be able to look at the previous sentence and be appreciative of all that I have gained…but not today unfortunately L The pain today has blinded me from seeing anything else.

The pain I’m in now causes me to take extreme measures to regain control of my body. I am thankful to have very supportive group of friends and family to help me get through this dark place in my life. 

Unfortunately, this lost love has/will inhibit me from allowing myself to fall in love anytime soon. I will take preventative measures to ensure that “love” does not commence. The overload of emotions associated with cancers can be unhealthy if it occurs too often. And quite frankly, that’s just not a risk that I’m willing to take every go round.

Signing off until next time,

Vonda B. 

Love Lost...

"Oftentimes we say goodbye to the person we love without wanting to. Though that doesn't mean that we've stopped loving them or we've stopped to care. Sometimes goodbye is a painful way to say I love you."

~Kezia

To whom much is given, much is required...

This past month has been truly amazing. So many blessing to be thankful for, and I thank God for it all. First I was accepted to the CRA-W Grad Cohort Program, then I was selected to be a SLIDER mentor this summer, then I was offered a position to teach a robotics class in a K-12 summer program, and just today I was awarded the National Science Foundation Graduate Research Fellowship!!!! This is great!! I have been smiling ear to ear all day!!!! So basically this NSF Fellowship will fund 3 whole years of my graduate studies -- tuition and a monthly stipend!! Now I can focus strictly on my studies and not these bills getting paid.

{Sidenote} I feel like I only update you all on the good things in my life. Trust and believe, I have had my share of rejections with fellowships, exams, and conferences, but I do not let that stop me. I apply to any and everything that has the slightest possibility to help me attain my goals and future career. Every "NO" that I receive just means that I'm that much closer to that "YES," and it motivates me to keep pushing!

Now with all that said..."To whom much is given, much is required." It's time for me to buckle down and change the world!!! I have been given all the tools to do what I need to do, now it's time for me to execute!! Listen to my anthem ;-)

With love,

Future Dr. Brown

Day 1 of my Loc Journey!!!

**** maintenance every 3 WEEKS not 3 months****

March 1st =)

A day filled with a lot of good and bad news...very eventful to say the least. Well for starters, today is Thursday, so we all know that means I had a busy day. I was able to get my homework completed in a timely manner today...still was a product of procrastination, but it was only 1 question instead of the usual 4 or 5. In addition, today I was accepted to attend the CRA-W Graduate Cohort Workshop in Bellevue, Washington in April! I've never been to Washington before and Bellevue is approx. 20 minutes from Seattle so I definitely have to visit (especially after watching Grey's anatomy faithfully on Netflix lol).

My sister sent me a $100 gift card to Best Buy in the mail today!!! Brittany is the best everrrrrrr :) I have been instructed to buy Zumba Rush and Just Dance 3 for my Xbox Kinect, and I will do just that....when I return from the windy city!!!!! Yep yep, headed there in t-6 hours...and I still need to pack. I just looked at the forecast though and it looks no bueno:/ It was 75 degrees today in Atlanta. Now I'm going to Chicago and it's supposed to snow!?!? I'm going to be sick; I can see it already.

Now for the bad news...I found out that my grandma was admitted to the hospital because she has pneumonia and her kidneys are failing :( I wish I were home with the fam right about now; I'm praying for a speedy recovery.

Goodnight all.

With love,

Vonda B.

Week Debrief

I should really update this more frequently since I have so much going on in my life right right now. Well how about we start with the present and work backwards.

So today I had the pleasure of assisting a good friend in the midst of a crisis!!! Glad I could be of assistance because Lord knows I would want someone to do the sane for me. In return, I get to doggie sit!!!! Yay, it's like a trial run before I get my own little yorkie/yorkie-poo. Sooooo excited!!! My little ol' apartment needed a more life anyway. In addition, today I woke up to the best, long awaited email ever!!!! The IRB finally approved my protocol (as I said they would in my post last week 2/21), which means I am able to being testing my robot math tutor on actual human subjects...bka children in the underserved community. One step closer to the prize, I'm soooo excited that this day has finally come!! Woot woot!! Well, that pretty much was today, although I have some work to knock out before I hit the sheets later tonight.

Yesterday was a typical Tuesday for me. Both of my classes are on Tuesday AND I actually went to both of them *pats self on back* :) After my academics were taken care of, I made my way to the gym for my personal training session with Shanrika. Very very cool trainer. She knows what she's talking about when it comes to getting in shape and she's very understanding of my crazy schedule/lifestyle as a grad student. We make a good team.

Monday I did a lot of work for my research and for [GT]2 (http://www.gtsquared.gatech.edu/). I have been so busy planning this symposium, that I actually forgot that I'm registered to present a poster....and it's next weekend! Ugh, well I guess that's plenty of time to throw a poster together right??? Well I have no choice but to make it happen; I've been known to work well under pressure #procrastination.

The weekend was a blur...Friday through Sunday. I chilled with friends Friday night, went out in the city Saturday night, and successfully blew my workout plan by eating terrible all weekend...I had an angus bacon cheeseburger from McDonald's Saturday night, General Tso Chicken Sunday Night, and FroYo with brownies and cookie dough Monday. I promise I usually don't eat like this. I try to stay away from fast food, pork, beef, and sweets....but I guess that's what stress will do to you. Nevertheless, I had a lot of fun this weekend with good company.

This upcoming weekend I'll be in the windy city Chicago!!!! I will be going to celebrate Jazze's 25th birthday (which was Monday 2/27). She gets a little jealous from time to time because I never mention her in my blogs; however, she does have a lot of impact on my day to day activities and accomplishments. Just yesterday I was doing some research on the economic effects of the achievement gap and this lady (Jazze) was on the Georgia Tech library website showing me how to use the psychology databases and telling me which ones had the best articles. Now that's what I call a great team!!! We operate on totally opposite ends of the spectrum (psychology-engineering), but at the end of the day we still balance each other out. Anywho, so I get a vaca for the weekend, and she gets to celebrate the first quarter of her life. Yay!!!

Well my eyes are getting heavy and I still need to knock some work out, so I'm signing off until next time.

Love always,

Vonda B.

The Infamous Thursdays

My Thursdays are ALWAYS busy. I need to work on my time management skills. It never fails, I always have one HW assignment due at 8PM, personal training session at 8:30/9, and then another HW assignment due at midnight. I tell myself week after week that the same thing will not continue to happen; however, I keep falling into the trap of procrastination!!! I need to do better. Surprisingly, I still manage to get everything done. Idk what it is...I guess I just work well under pressure.

I had an interview this morning and it went very well. If all goes as planned, I will actually get to spend my first summer in ATL since I moved here. The only summer I've ever been in ATL was summer '08...great summer btw. Anywho, the position I interviewed for today was a tutor/mentor for youth in the underserved community. The purpose of this program (SLIDER) is to increase interest in STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, and Math) fields by engaging the students with robotics. I am excited about this opportunity because it directly relates to what I'm currently doing, as well as, what I have a passion for doing in my future. The key words are underserved community, k-12 education/achievement gap, STEM fields, robotics, and teaching.

Well I need to get in the bed. I have yet another long day tomorrow...campus tours, focus groups, tutoring sessions, and human-subject testing...not to mention TGIF :) Let's see what trouble I can get into tomorrow.

Goodnight friends and fam <3

With love,

Vonda B.

So you're trying to "holla" and you're 18??? I'm getting old :/

I had a late start this morning...was up until 3am completing and resubmitting my protocol for the IRB (Institutional Review Board). Once this finally gets approved, I can actually begin testing my robot on the little children, yay!!! I am convinced that the IRB hates me; this is about the 4th time that they have not approved my protocol, but I'm feeling lucky this time!

Anywho, I made it to campus pretty late, but just in time for class. Once on campus, I did my regular routine and talked to the security guard at the front desk of my research building. It seemed as if he was really anticipating his lunch break and said we should order pizza. I politely declined because I'm trying to eat healthier, but I suggested we go to Ray's pizza since they have a bomb grilled chicken salad that I LOVE LOVE LOVE!!! So he gets his pizza and I get my salad and everyone's happy. Cool. So a little brief history..security guy and are are strictly friends, platonic, homies, etc. So long story short, we get to Ray's and I realize that he was interested in a little more than just the pizza/food being that all of a sudden he wasn't hungry. Then, to make matters worse...he has the nerve to tell me he's 18 and pulls out his little ID which says he was born in 1993. When I saw that, it was time to go: check please! Lol I can't/won't/don't speechless. I was feeling like R. Kelly in there...he was still wet behind his ears...might as well been rocking a little cradle. It would not have been bad at all if he wasn't interested, but the moment it changed from "strictly friends" to "I'm trying to holla," it was time to GO! Whew smh I guess I really am getting old. Wow. And that was pretty much my day.

I went and met the trainer for a quick workout at the gym, then hit BDubs with some people from Tech. Now I'm home about to knock out so that I can grind tomorrow.

Goodnight friends and fam :)

With love,

Vonda B.

Hola chicas!!!! Its been roughly a week since I last checked in with you guys...and gals :) Can't forget about my ladies woot woot! Anywho, this past week was a bit rough for me. I promise, I always manage to be single on Valentine's Day, but I still managed to spend it with good people....and still receive a gift from my valentine hehehe :) I'm loved!!!

Sooooo I think I've decided that I will lock up my hair after a couple months of debate. I'm too lazy to do continue doing my own hair, but I'm finally beginning to see just how versatile locks can actually be. Initially, I was turned away from it because I was afraid that it would be too permanent. However, after a lot of research and advice from stylists and friends, I think I am finally convinced!!! I'm VERY nervous about this transition stage once again, but I feel as if it may be a little easier since I'm already natural.

As far as my physical training is concerned, I have managed to secure a personal trainer for the time being and she doing a great job working me out :) She had me feeling like a line backer pushing this sled of weights around the gym!!! I had to remind her that I didn't sign any liability waiver saying that I couldn't sue her tail if anything happened....I still ended up pushing those weights though lol. But she's great and I think it helps that she is Black female because she understands what I'm looking to achieve and my body's capabilities. White people, male and female (no offense to anyone), don't seem to grasp the fact that Black females are built differently than white/asian/hispanic females.

I've also been playing a little intramural basket ball at GT with BGSA (Black Graduate Student Association). We were able to secure a place in the palyoffs after our win last night :) I think I'm the only female playing in our league, but it's all good. They always underestimate me until I box their tail out and get the rebound....they can't handle the hips!!!! I need to find some other activities to participate in other than running 5Ks and basketball...I have to keep changing it up or else my body will become accustomed to the same old tricks. Thats why I REALLY need this zumba for my kinect...hint hint :)

Anyways, had an amazing time being semi-productive with Miss Dee Adams today. Ugh, don't know what I'd do without her in my life!!! Did a little GRE prep, had a mini photoshoot for her big 2-5 shindig coming up, got the nails did, oh and drove around aimlessly looking for a venue that was "closed" on Mondays. Smh, but nevertheless....GOOD TIMES!!!!

Anywho, I do have some work that I need to get to so I'm gonna hop to that and chit chat with you all another time.

With love,

Vonda B.

What.A.Weekend.

LSs came in town for the weekend :D

Had a blast with them :D

Got my nails done with DJ :D

Had a blast with her :D

Didn't get any work done :( 

Hair still isn't done :(

Whitney Houston passed away :(

I'm officially single :(

Valentine's Day is tomorrow :( 

....only my life.

VB

I Love ME!

I have blossomed into beautiful woman =) Not being cocky or conceded, just being honest with myself. It's been a long time coming for me, and now I can finally say that I am completely happy with myself and the things/people in my life. If you are in my life then yes I'm talking about you!! Now whether you're a seasonal friend or there for the long haul, that's another discussion lol. Anywho, I have made enormous progress over this past year with just taking care of me. I can't focus on making anyone else happy until I am. I did not realize just how happy I was until I tried something a little different last night, stepped outside of my comfort zone, and just let me radiate out. Take me as I am. If you don't think you can handle that, then that's ok...I promise no hard feelings. But no more scaling myself down to fit into your little box of expectations. I am me...I am happy...I love me :)

What a day...

I did absolutely nothing today as far as schoolwork and research goes. I sat at my computer desk in my lab and watched the gossip scroll down my twitter timeline and facebook news feed. I also received some very interesting news today randomly from various sources about life back at home. I broke bread with the president of GT's wife, Queen Bee, as she likes to call herself. Then I finished the day off with some intramural bball with BGSA (Black Graduate Student Association). Signing off until next time,

Vonda B.

African Bush Mango

(And yes I did make it back two days in a row to post *pats self on back*)

Ok, so I'm trying this new dietary supplement African Bush Mango (as seen below). Today is my fourth day using this product, and I am already seeing great results. My appetite is suppressed and my energy is increased throughout the day. This may be a mental thing, but I feel like I'm seeing subtle changes in my figure. Now, I'm also going to the gym regularly so this does play a key role as well. I'm usually turned away from "dietary supplements," however, this one in particular caught my eye for 3 reasons.

1. Fact: Over 60% of Americans are overweight or obese. In order to sell this product to us Americans, of course they will advertise it as an "appetite suppressant" or a great "weight-loss supplement."

2. When West African tribes first began drinking this, it was in efforts to get the nutrients their body needed, boost their metabolism, and increase their stamina.

3. I can count on my 2 hands the number of ingredients in this juice blend AND I can pronounce them all :) Very very natural.

Anywho, that's just my 2 cents, but I'll keep you all posted with my journey.

With love,

Vonda B.

7 months later...

As we can all see, this blog was not as "addictive" as I previously suggested it would be. I have to do better with these posts. So much has happened in the past 7 months. As for an update from the previous post, I am back on facebook and twitter although with little activity. Once I passed my prelim/qualifying exam in Oct/Nov (YAY!), I decided to semi-reconnect with the world. Definitely a huge milestone in this journey of pursuing my PhD. And on top of passing prelim, I also did well in all of my classes.

As for this year, I promised myself that I would do better with self-care. As a grad student, it is easy to lose sight of the importance of this. I have to get back in the gym, church, salon (hair and nail), and out with friends on the weekends. I need balance in my life in order to get through this thing called "grad school" as a healthy individual, physically and emotionally. So in efforts to fulfill the physical portion of self-care, I decided to commit to insanity for the month of January and February. Now, as of today, Shaun T can shove it! Lol he is intense and I'm sure these workouts work miracles IF one is able to stay committed for the entire 60 days; however, it was hard to stay committed while doing these workouts alone :/ After the 3rd week, I was starting to lose motivation, and by the 4th week I had totally given up :( I need a workout partner! So yesterday after completely bombing the Insanity workout, I made my way to the gym and ran for a half an hour. Yep, I'm back to training for my 5Ks that are coming up in the next couple months. I also have my eye on a personal trainer that may be able to give me the motivation that I've been missing in my workouts. When I was in VA, I always had Charisse to hold me down as a workout partner, but now I need a partner in the A.

I have a new job at Georgia Tech working for the Center of Women, Science, and Technology (WST) so I spend my time coordinating events for the learning community there and assisting with other projects as well. I do that for them, and they pay my tuition and fees. I think thats a fair trade-off :) I decided to give Barnes and Noble a break for a while, probably until the summer...I'm going to miss the crew until then. That job was my break from the world, not because the job duties were lax, but because of the people. My coworkers were down-to-earth and my boss was crazy cool. If it wasn't for them, I would've been left lol. 

Anywho, my research is off to a great start. I am dissertation topic involves developing a robot tutor to teach children math in underrepresented communities. This is why I do what I do, just watch =====> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lrIs5bkuTBE. I am expected to submit my work to the IEEE SMC conference by the end of the semester for my first publication!!! So excited, but nervous all at the same time. I have so much work to do, but I love the responsibility. With that said, I really need to get back to work. I'm not going to make any promises, but I'll try to be back tomorrow for another post.

Vonda B